Was he a bad boyfriend? Someone please give input I will give you 10 points!?
Technically he wasn't my "boyfriend." We just went on two dates and only talked for a month but I recently broke it off with him and am reflecting on whether it was the right decision. Here are the factors. Please tell me if I'm being ridiculous or if this was a good choice :/
He only texted, never called.
He showed up 30 mins late on both dates (even though he initiated both of them)
It sometimes took him 3 hours to reply to my messages.
One time he waited literally the night before to ask me out on a date.
He never told me I was pretty or looked nice (even though my dad told me he told my dad I was attractive?)
When I got in trouble and got my phone taken away I told him to feel free to call, and he didn't call within 2 days.
He never actually said the words "i like you."
Didn't kiss me on either date.. Held hands the first but not the second.
The biggest annoyance of mine is that when I finally got my phone back I texted him telling him he's an amazingly nice guy and I love being friends with him but I'm not ready for a relationship. I got no response whatsoever and now feel like even our friendship is ruined :(. He's still friends with me on facebook and following me on twitter though. I thought I'd at least get a "nice knowing you" or a hate-filled anger text. Or maybe finally a call! But NOTHING.
What do you think?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
I think you made a good decision. Because when someones excited or even interested in talking to you then they'll reply back as quick as possible. Don't think too much on it because we both know he's not, especially on the fact that he didn't even reply back when you said " your an amazingly nice guy and I love being friends with you but I'm not ready for a relationship." That just goes to show hes not a man. You'll find someone who deserves your kindness and love.
"I love being friends with him but I'm not ready for a relationship. I got no response whatsoever and now feel like even our friendship is ruined"
You gave him the "friends" speech. No wonder he's pulled away from you.
Girls and guys don't look at the world the same way.
To a girl having a friend is like having money or a treasure. I've never met a woman who did not measure herself by friendships, family, husbands/boyfriends and most of all children. The more friends that they have, having kids and a good man in their lives they feel complete.
To a guy having a girlfriend is having a treasure but having a female friend is not as good. Men show our love by what we do. We tough it out at work. We fix stuff around the house. We sacrifice time to play with kids and raise them. We have wild sex and love our women.
Here's the best way to explain it - a boyfriend is the guy who a girl cries about. A male friend is the guy who is cried upon.
Sometimes relationships don't work out. You feel bad when things don't go so well, you feel better in a short while and then you find someone new.
So don't consider him a "bad boyfriend". Just figure that he was not a good boyfriend for you and find yourself someone new.
Being late for a date is impolite. So is calling someone the day before a date.
Here's my take on it - don't tolerate bad behavior. Give a guy ten or fifteen minutes unless he calls you to tell you that he's coming. After waiting fifteen minutes move on. If he bothers to call you let him know that you are a busy person. Same with calling you the day before a date.
Don't put up with other people's stupid nonsense. Respect yourself and others will respect you too.
its kinda hard to say.. is he shy or inexperienced, because that could explain a lot of why you didn't much out of him. Maybe he was embarassed to put himself out there like that and be completely open with you. But if he's not shy or inexperienced then it sounds like he just didn't try very hard with you. To show up on BOTH dates a half hour later is just rude. When I have a date I think about it like the whole day and that's normal, because you should be excited and looking forward to it. So yea, I think when we are suddenly single again we miss the last person to show us affection because we as humans naturally desire that feeling of being cared for. So my advice to you is to just let it go, he didn't care enough to call you or fight for you when you told him it was over. Why'd you tell him you weren't ready for a relationship? You obviously are, so don't lie to people about it. If I were you I would have just stopped texting/calling until he called you. And if he didn't then you know he never really cared
First, if something is ruined that's defintely no longer your fault! He sounds like he wasn't truly into the "couple" idea and became extra interested in courting and perchance a booty call if accessible. I hate to assert that, because i have been on your shoes and it hurts to hearken to that. each and every so often it basically ticks you off that individuals say it, yet sometime you'll see it for what it really is. If he became into then you he would have texted extra, stated as, been polite and on time, and now that he's no longer talking the prospect is nice, that you probable did not provide into him so he's transferring on to some different person. :( i desire you discover peace with this on your heart, and that i'm extremely sorry. some adult men are jerks and do not should understand us, now to not teach be in our presence.
Well a lot of guys are scared to try for the first kiss and a lot of guys don't give compliments and a lot of guys don't want to say "I like you" first and and and and....the list goes on.
Was he only taking a long time to reply just to you, or is he just a bad texter? If I got a text from a girl I liked saying "you're awesome, but we're only friends", I would not respond. I'd be depressed about it. If I didn't like the girl and she said "we're done dating", I'd say "oh thats ok, lets at least stay friends" because that's an easy escape.
So my bet is that he likes/liked you, but was just bad at showing his emotions. It's a guy thing. So if you like him still, you messed up. But if you don't like him, then you're fine. If you do like him still, please don't bother trying to go on more dates with him...just move on. No need to toy with his feelings when you will just overreact and tell him "we are only friends" again..
These would annoy me! I think he was. If he never showed affection, then I would've called it off too. I think you made the right decision! And try and talk to him about your friendship and tell him that you still want to be friends.
-Hope it helps!
I think you both sound pretty young. I think you do not understand that guys generally are not in any hurry when it comes to texting and communicating. Guys do not state their feelings unless they have strong ones. guys do not respond to rejections either, and that is what you texted him. Time to get educated on some things, honey.
To be completely honest with you I don't think he ever liked you.If he really liked you he wouldn't have shown he was ashamed to be seen with you.That's just my opinion but Im just trying to tell you kinda how it is.Im sure you could do so much better than someone like that.Guys like that are stupid and they don't deserve a girlfriend.Keep your head up you'll find that special someone :3
He is probably undecided of his true intentions of a relationship, maybe he has a lot on his mind and aspires to be left to his own devises, for awhile just give him some time to open up to you maybe he wishes to take it slow as they say.
This boy just doesn't seem interested. He seems almost lazy. If he doesn't do ANYTHING to show he appreciates or likes you, then I think you should wait for a better guy, 'cause honey, he ain't it.