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I'm sorry for you, yet you're not the only one... It didn't happen to me, but i do know somebody who went through the same as you. You can be proud of yourself, you are strong and you must keep strong for your child. It's very important.

There are some association out there where you can speak about it. Those people are great and can help you and your child. They can give you good advice on what to do.

If your partner becomes too violent, you've got to go again to the police. Because he's been arrested, you can be sure he won't have the full custody, and because of his behaviour that is dangerous for the safety of your child, he might have the rights to see your child, but he'll have certainly somebody with him watching his movements.

Your child should see both of you, it is important for later.

All the luck for the future, and keep strong.

Hello there i am so sorry to hear about your baby's father the father of my unborn child is exactly the same when i found out he told me to get an abortion or else he wouldn't sick by me bu ti am not getting one as its not the baby's fault and its not fair. So he has left me and he never gets in touch and i have given him loads of chances to come round to the idea but since then he has got a new girlfriend and he lives with her and her 2 children but he doesn't want his own child it really confuses me too and i am very upset. The thing you gotta think about is the welfare of your child do you trust the father with your child and are you willing to put the past behind you by all means don't go back to him or let him back in your life what i would do is supervised visits first with you there maybe take your child out and see if you can both do it that way...but if it does go to court tell the magistrates everything what he has been like and they may not let him see your child on his own. I know i am not a parent yet but i hope this has been some use.

Sorry and Good Luck Ashley x

I'm so sorry to hear about your awful situation. Unfortunately it's all too common.

When I had problems the solicitor told me to keep a diary of everything that happens with your ex. Make a note of:

- Any time he is late or doesn't turn up when he says he will

- Any time he takes your child out and is late back

- Anything your child says about dad's family (eg 'nana was singing rude songs/hit someone/etc)

- Any threats he makes against you or in relation to your child or against your house

As far as possible, get someone to back you up on this. I didn't actually have to go to court, but they are supposed to take all of this into account and consider the welfare of the child above all else.

You need support of family or friends and/or a support group. Try these links:

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

http://www.netmums.com/

www.gingerbread.org/uk

I wish you all the luck in the world - stay strong for your child. If you need a boost e-mail me, if you want to.

Hi first of all because he has been violent towards you and there are police records to verify this,the courts will not let him have your daughter for weekends,thats bearing in mind he even asks for it,he doesnt seem to be very interested in seeing her.

The fathers for justice campaign would only help him if he had done nothing wrong and it was you stopping him seeing the child because you were being bitter,for example if the relationship hadnt worked out,or you threw him out because you met someone else.They dont help fathers who are violent or have made no effort to see the child.

They may let him see her on supervised visits,such as with an adult you choose to take the child to him and stay for the whole of the visit.

You dont mention any of your family,can they not help you ,maybe not money wise,but for babysitting so you could go for a night out with your friends.

I wouldnt make yourself poorly with all of this,he sounds like he's really selfish and probably wont go to all the trouble of going to court for visiting rights,after all he hasnt got a leg to stand on if he does.

Get him out of your life and start again,you can do it . xx

Your situation is very similar and a cross between my own and one of my friends. We both had similar problems and both found that the courts were a complete waste of time. They didn't take each case individually as they should. In my friends case, she was the innocent party. She had been married to a serial adulterer and couldn't afford a solicitor. Subsequently her ex, who conveniently hitched up with, it is said, a millionairess, hired a top notch, bully of a solicitor, who took pleasure in seeing her down and penniless. Sorry for being so negative but you must get support from somewhere. You need good friends and family and a damn good solicitor if possible. Try and stay positive. Stand up for yourself when you know you're doing the right thing and please get some help. The tone of your question says you're screaming for help. Good luck X

If this went to court & you stated you didn't want his family seeing your daughter until they had proved themselves to be responsible around her the courts would give your ex a supervised visit each week. You are doing what you think is right for your daughter & fair play to you, your child is your main concern & if your ex is a bad role model the courts would see that, no amount of crocodile tears from him will hide the fact he's a muppet! Tell him you're happy for him to keep coming to yours to see his daughter but if he wants weekend access tell him no & that he'll have to take you to court! You said he got arrested, that will work in your favour, he's dug himself a hole & there's no way he's gonna get himself out of it anytime soon, the courts will be with you honey so try not to worry, let him try eh?!

If you think he is fooling you, make sure he at least take some responsibility for the upkeep of the child i.e pay what he is due to pay. In that case, you can get some money to get a good babysitter so you can also have some time for yourself, maybe go out and possibly meet someone who will treat you well.

Good luck

I had a violent ex partner luckily he never wants to see the kids....not so far anyway but my solicitor said that if he did take me to court the injunctions and everything would come up and he would be lucky to get supervised visits.Try not to worry and make sure you bring everything thats happened up so they can get a clearer picture.Good luck

Girl I can feel you on these dead beat dads just walking out at the first sign of chaos I have an infant daughter and he just walked out too and at a time when I needed the most help,you don't need him cause it may be hard but very possible to raise your kids alone and a good way to prove to him and show him he really wasn't needed

IF there are police records due to violence if he did take u to court they would take this into consideration and he would have supervised visiting times

Deny all access .. hes nt much of a man and i doubt he would bother to take it through the courts

That's what i have done with my ex and he has not been in touch in 3 years