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Keep doing all the right things, you have been great so far; do it by the book. Give him enough rope and he will hang himself, and by the sound of it, he's half way there.

My sister was in a similar relationship for years with her ex; he did not pay maintenance; he repeatedly broke all arrangements for access to his daughter. Eventually, the child was old enough to decide for herself " I don't want to see daddy today"

Hold on to what you have; you are doing fine. Your daughter won't always be this young; one day he will have to face her and answer for what he has done. By doing it by the book and keeping your dignity, you have already made him look a fool.

Ok, I have plenty of knowledge here and seen lots of people go through this. You CANNOT deny him visitation (unless there is an obvious and visible threat to the child's safety). That WILL go against YOU in court. He is entitled to FULL unsupervised visitation whether you like it or not. If you withhold that right, well, it'll bite you. If you had this concern for your child's safety it should be addressed in court and the judge decides if he's a threat. Call child protection or the police if her safety has been jeopardized. Just because he was abusive to you doesn't mean he will be to the child. It seems more like you are withholding the child out of revenge to the ex. The bottom line is, until there is a court ordered visitation and custody, both are shared EQUALLY between both parents, by default. You are taking his right away.

As far as who gets custody. Exact laws vary state to state, but the bottom line that a judge looks at is, "which parent is more likely to provide visitation to the other parent". If you withhold visitation out of spite, or whatever reason you can think of, it's very likely that a judge will look down upon you for that.

The bottom line is documentation and the courts. Keep records (and I mean ACCURATE records) of when he misses, the agreements you had, everything. DO NOT withhold his right to visitation, it WILL bite you in one form or another (unless there is an obvious threat such as him showing up intoxicated to drive off with the child).. Use your judgment, not your hatred. If theres a problem, utilize the police. And lastly, USE THE COURTS, that's what their there for. Go for custody and visitation all in one shot, get it out of the way. Make sure both are signed by a judge. Agreements between you and him are not enforceable.

As far as what will go against him in court... It doesn't matter. It only really matters in custody battles. Him being flaky, not showing up, etc. will not negate his right to visitation. It's simply him electing not to utilize his visitation that specific time. In addition, during a hearing for visitation, you can bring up your fears of him being abusive, but, without documents, pictures, police reports, doctors reports, psych reports, etc. the judge more-than-likely will not opt for supervised visitation until he makes a big error in judgment. Now of course, he has an extensive criminal past for domestic violence, assault, battery, etc. the judge may find differently.

This is just some advice from personal experience and should not be considered legal advice or guidance. If you have any concerns, please contact a lawyer in your area.

he does not deserve to see his child if this is how he behaves, tell your solicitor what he has done now and that you are taking no more of it as you want the best for your child, i would also get an injunction to stay away from you and your child as he seems like a dangerous man to me, sometimes you have to keep fighting for what you want and if you do even if it takes a while then it will all be worth the wait, good luck and take care of yourself and your child, as i say men can come in and out of your life but your kids will always be yours, hope this helps, P.S i know because i have been through it and i came out fighting and won, you do the same, xx

Hi, I think you are doing the right thing, whether he is playing with you or doesn't care i dont know but if he stands any chance of seeing his child no1 else can make that effort for him, his no shows will go against him in court and he will know that his lawyer will fil him in, you are doing your part, let him fritter his life away, he sounds like a complete @szh0le! your proprity is you and your child, be safe, be happy let the judge deal with the loser x

Well if your husband is hitting you and everything thats abuse and he could go to jail..

You need alot of money for child support to take your child ..

Watch the movie"Enough" staring Jennifer Lopez because that movie is about how they have a chil and the husband is cheating on the wife and how he abused her..

Good Luck

yes, these things will go against him in court. this situation is cr@ppy, and im sure you will get loads of sympathetic answers on here as there seems to be lots of mums with dead beat dads of their kids, me included. its a good place to get it off your chest and realise your not alone and the dads always get their comuppance in time. they are rejected by the child. stay strong, and try not to be too stressed, just think everytime you get stressed over him he has still got control over you, which is what a lot of these men want, its not that they dont love their kids but they love trying to hurt and control their ex's more.

Bravo. You are managing to keep it together and you have your priorities straight. I hope all the people you deal with to resolve the issue will see beyond the red tape and affirm that you are willing to do the best for your daughter but refuse to put her at risk. Loads of positive energy for you and littlen. xx

I think your attorney has probably told you that you have a good case. You should continue to do everything in your power to protect your child, you are doing a good job.

i think that is fair.

my friend has gone thru the same thing and the courts wouldnt grant him access as he was that unreliable that he didnt even turn up at the right time.

I should think you have more right to the child in this instance.