Can an uncle be a father figure?
I'm single and i have no kids but my sister left her boyfriend about 2 months ago, he lives far away. I've been taking care of her 2 year old daughter. I get along with my 2 year old niece most of the time thus my sister says I'll need to be her father figure.
I don't think I'm prepared for this but i don't want my niece to end up like so many father-less kids [i know it brings consequences].
How can i do this [be an uncle but also a father]? How should I treat my niece?
Update:My sisters boyfriend is the father.
My niece does have other family around her but here not so much.
My sister does take care of her niece but i just moved to the state after graduating from college, since i was out of work i took care of my niece when my sister worked [now she's in a day care].
I'm 23 years old my sister 26
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Any man can be a father figure, you are still her uncle, but she'll look up to as a father figure since her dad left (i don't know if the boyfiend was actually her dad), but as i said any male figure can be a father figure. Just let her know you are there for her although she's only 2.
Just be a model guy. Show her examples of courtesy and respect for women throughout her life, listen to her problems and provide insightful feedback, tell her you love her and that you will always protect her, but most importantly never strike her or put her down. You'd be surprised how just being there can be half the battle, I'm sure your little niece loves you very much and will be so grateful once she grows up and realizes the sacrifices and efforts on your part to provide her with a prime example of a man. Being a dad to a little girl is so important. That is what her idea of a man will always be. Whether you like it or not, she'll probably pick her husband one day based off what she perceives YOU to be like. That's the Oedipus Complex from high school psychology for ya. So appreciate the fact that a little girl is looking to you for advice, obviously you dont have to be her REAL father, but more like a superhero.
How old are you and how old his your sister? Certainly you can act as the child's father, but taking all the responsibility from your sister may encourage her to act irresponsibly and get pregnant again. You need to have a talk with your sister about that. I cannot imagine a mother leaving her child for any reason. There is something not right about this situation. Also, make sure the child's father pays you child support. If you don't go after him, he will keep on fathering children knowing that he does not have to support them.
Your niece needs a man in her life who loves her and lets her know that she is a special person in his life. You don't need to be with her everyday in order to do that. One suggestion might be that you and she establish a habit of getting together once a week to play, go to the park, go to MacDonald's, or something that is just for the two of you. Your sister cannot decide that you will be the child's father figure just because she finds it convenient. The child has a father. The child also has relatives she should be allowed to interact with in addition to you. Surely not every other relative of the child's is unfit to associate with her.
Be an Uncle. Spend some special time with her, take her to the park or to something else she enjoys. Remind her of proper behavior if she acts up. Just love her with all your heart.