Any advice on how to handle this? I no longer know what to do?
I have my own place & source of income. About 3 yrs ago I seperated & have been severely depressed since that time. For the past 2 yrs I have stayed around my parents because my dad was very ill & it was believed his time left was limited. I helped parents constantly & had no life of my own or very little. I have agorophobia & cannot stand to be alone so it helps me & my parents. Recently things have gotten terrible. My mother is constantly upset because of my father's illness, she would never do counseling & is depressed daily. All she does is read & worry about how her savings have ran out, soon she will no longer be able to pay for health insurance. She acts like her life ending. I am utterly alone. I have young sister who lives here, all she does is play video games online. She will not help. Mom does little & to be honest I am getting over a surgery and am not much help anymore. Before I worked on fixing the house to sell around 8-10 hours each day, to make sure
Update:If I find a boyfriend and want him to move in (I want to stay at my own home) then everyone is unhappy. It has to be a certain person for them to like, and I cannot find the type of person they want me to be with. Around 5 months ago we all had a falling out (me, mom, brother) and they decided if I want to date someone that is fine and I can take them to my home (have you ever heard anything like this?) I cannot talk to my mom about dating and I have no one else. All my friends have moved on, I email 2 people but that is it. I do not know how to have a life anymore to be honest, where to start? I go to bars, but there is nobody there worth having, just looking for peices of ***. Any suggestions? And yes I am feeling sorry for myself.
Update 3:Btw I am almost 30
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I understand how hopeless you must feel. first you cant take care of your family unless you take care of your self first. Maybe you can set a hour or 1/2 hour for time to devote to your healing. Nutrition, medical support, friends support.meditation of any kind. try to find a positive visulization you can focus on when things are really bad. maybe use a really good memory from the past or imagine how your ideal life would look. Im not saying thats going to make everything danndy but u r under ALOT stress and need to find ways to think positive.
when my mother lost her husband her government income was cut by 80$ a month and i watched her worry herself sick over that. I was lucky, healthy and had a job so i could say its ok mom i spend that just for pizza and a movie every week. But that just didnt stop her worries and it tore me apart.
If she dosesnt care for councling it is amazing some ofthe resourses out ther. first do you have a hospice nurse comming to the house?? You can get that for free. They are used to death and families hard times and are also very sensitive, but helpful and wouldnt need to be thought of as a counslor.
You are not alone although it may feel that way. The fact you posted this was really good for reaching out. Continue to do so and i pray assistance comes to your family, financially, health wise, communication wise, and spiritually.
a really gret book is by Ram Dass STILL HERE; EMBRACING AGING, CHANGING AND DYING. It may help in some way in all aspects of your mother father sister self.
I also have bouts of agorophobia and the oly thing that seems to help is if a friend or family are with me and we go out on a erand together its not as scarry. Also if you have a yard, or pourch it helped me to simply sit out side, water plants. You are recovering yourself and should try to take it slow and easy
Losing health insurance is REALLY scarry. my own runs out in 8 months and i worry as i am disabled. Im checking into goverment assistance. Local electric, gas and home home have reduced rates if you apply for them. so much paper work and so much to do is overwhellming. you can only do one thing at a time. No money and health issues just plane suck. I can only hope some money falls from the sky, your mother can relax and enjoy her days with your father, and you find the faith and hope with in your soul to carry you through this.
Take a shot at asking your sister if she could do A,B,C. like dishes, laundry, ect. after shes had a couple hours on the video games and then encourage her to go back to them after shes helped. Maybe she needs to be asked to help and compromizing may make her less apt to simply ignore your family situation. the best of luck to you
Okay first and foremost, stop looking for the Pity Party and participants. Someone is going to have to take control, because from what you have written, the situation is truly in disarray. By what you have written, you are obviously over 18, right, and if this is so, you need to step up and take control, yeah, you have your handicap, (but then all of us is handicapped in one way or another, just refuse to believe it), which doesn't seem to affect your cognitive thinking, you see the problems around you and you acknowledge them, but in acknowledging them, you have to resolve them. The depression of all concerned will continue unless there is some type of intervention. There are programs available for individuals in what is call the "end of life stage", as well as for their care providers and family members, there is also assistance available and housing that will suit you even with your issues. So, while I do sympathize with you, again, I don't attend Pity Parties. If you don't like where you are right now, do something about it. If your Mother needs assistance, with either your father or the family home and finances, go out and seek it. You have to help yourself before you could even expect others to help you. I will put you all in prayer and please get up and off and get something done, the only distance between here and there is now. God Bless.
Your mother can probably qualify for a reverse mortagae which means she could draw money on the equity built up in the house, without any payments due. There are other options also. What about Social Security Disability Benefits and Medicare for your father? Look into what is availabe for your mother to get relief.
In the meantime, you need to get some medication for your depression and social anxiety.