Why does my husband act so different with me since we moved with our in laws?
2 years ago my husband, my 2 kids and I moved in with my in laws. Ever since then he acts different with me. As though my opinion doesn't count to him as much as his parents or brother. He respects them a lot and with me it's as though he lost respect for me. Before he use to love the way I cooked and complimented me a lot. We are from different cultures. Since we moved in with his parents his dad and mom always question the way I cook, the ingredients I use because they don't understand since in their culture it's different. Well my husband now he's always trying to tell me to not make things a certain way because it's wierd or whatever. Like just because his parents always act wierd about it he does now. Also I sometimes give him my opinion and he lashes out at me, when earlier I saw his brother telling him the same thing but he takes it and says yeah he agrees. With me he says that I am wrong and he gets really angry. I have always felt uncomfortable with his parents. I don't know.
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i think hes being pulled in two different directions and he doesnt want his family to think that he's changing because of you. when in fact a lot of his views, dislikes and likes probably have been influenced and changed by his relationship with you. he doesnt want his family to construe (is that a word? lol) as being disloyal. probably too in his culture it may be customary to treat women (or foreigners) with less respect. does his dad treat his mom like that? My dad is filipino but i was raised moreso with my mom and her side of the family and shes black, so the cultures conflict a lot. like filipinos get kind've persistent about eating the food you offer them, they get offended if you refuse. so my dad was forcing my son (literally spoon feeding an 8 yr old) to eat something he was unfamiliar with. i was torn between offending my dad and rescuing my poor son. I eventully said, ,"Daddy he has a really bad gag reflex I dont think he likes it," so I had to choose a side. your husband is probably just consistently siding with his parents.
In many ways I think this is a cultural problem. He is home in his old environment and now feels forced on the inside to live up to his parents and families expectations of what the relationship should be. He is no longer actually able to be the man he once was because he is trapped in this environment. You need to get out of this living situation or you will soon be pulled apart by the change in him.
Then maybe you should try to move back out. Or tell him how you feel. If he is being that much of a d*** then leave his behind and take your kids to one of your parents or friends house. You might think of getting a divorce.