I don't quite understand. Being engaged is in no way legally binding. Its simply a discussion between two people and agreeing to be married. This could happen with or without a date in mind, and it could range from being engaged a few weeks to years. Could you not just have an agreement to be married without being "engaged".
What, in your eyes, makes an engagement "official"? The ring? The words "will you marry me" followed by a yes? I just dont understand....why do we need this extra step in between boyfriend/girlfriend and marriage?
Update:The "tradition" of the diamond engagement ring was created in the 20s by DeBeers, a heavy marketing strategy to make men think they HAD to buy a woman a diamond ring to get married to them. And how clever that was.
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The point of getting engaged is to clearly show intent.
A lot of guys dilly dally around by giving girls vague talk like, "I would love to get married someday," but what the heck does that mean? Does he want to get married to her or to someone else someday?
I've seen guys pull that line on some of my lady friends, and the gals are ecstatic. But they never said that they want to marry them! All they said was that they would like to get married someday. But the girls get suckered for years.
Some of these lady friends of mine are still not married to their guys to this day!
But if he says, "I would love to get married to you someday," and pops out a token (generally a ring), he is showing intent.
And if he starts saving money, helps with the planning, etc, he is showing even more intent.
Bottom Line: It's all about intent and making forward progress.
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I consider an engagement a public announcement of the intent to marry. My fiance first asked me to marry him when we had been together for only a few weeks, and we often talked about marriage with the intention of making it official after a decent length of time had passed. We bought a ring and made the official announcement after we had been together for a year. Some people where I'm from dont consider an engagement official until the couple has thrown an engagement party.
The point of getting engaged is to plan a wedding. Some people say that an engagement over 2 years long is not a real engagement because you dont need that long to plan a wedding. Some people start planning a wedding but dont consider themselves engaged. Everyones opinion on this is different because, as you said, it isnt a legal state.
Your question could be asked for many things. Whats the point in having a relationship (girlfriend/boyfriend), whats the point in having a book club, whats the point in anything? People get engaged because they want to. If you dont, you dont.
To me, people are engaged to be married once there is an agreement to do so. With or without a formal proposal or ring. Obviously most people use the engagement period to plan the wedding and prepare for marriage, whether it be a short amount of time or longer.
You can agree to be married without stating that your engaged but most everyone will refer to it as an engagment. The ring is usually a gift to give to the bride-to-be promising that they will be married.and to let others know that the woman is taken and that she is no longer avaliable. although so many women wear rings on their ring finger now that gets hard to tell who is getting married and who isnt. its an old tradition, i think people have forgotten the true meaning of engagment. they extra step between boyfriend/girlfriend i think just means that you arent dating anymore that you are serious about being together. that the relationship has progressed to be more serious than just a person to date.
I didn't realize that everything in life fell into the categories of either "legally binding" or "pointless/meaningless"!
Getting engaged is a statement of your intentions for the relationship. It is a statement that you are moving towards marriage. Being someone's boyfriend or girlfriend does not indicate that the relationship is moving towards marriage, in many cases, it is not. In healthy relationships, goals need to be clearly communicated. Many people get badly hurt because they want their relationship to go in a direction that their partner does not.
When is an engagement official? Traditionally, after the acceptance of a formal proposal. This can be casual and simple, or very elaborate. The ring is not necessary, but it just makes it all the more clear.
It's an agreement to be married which gives a couple time to plan the wedding before they are married. What makes it official is the agreement. You can't get married without first being engaged.
Once you decide that you are going to get married, you are "engaged." The full phrase is "engaged to be married." So once you've agreed with your partner that you're going to get married, you're engaged. That state could last years or minutes (if you live near a courthouse). Sure, there are lots of cultural ideas about what being engaged is like, but the basic requirement is that you've agreed to be married.
So no, it's not possible to go from dating to being married without being engaged unless one of you surprises the other with a wedding. As soon as you decide to get married, you're engaged.
Its nice being engaged. It shows that both people are on the same level and intend to marry eachother. If you don't like engagements or diamond rings, then don't do it! Life shouldn't be about only what is necessary, life should be enjoyed. Engagements, weddings, and celebrations are all a way to enjoy life.
People who are ready to get married get engaged. The absolutely only purpose of engagement is time to plan for and arrange for a wedding to take place. If that only takes 5 minutes, fine. If it takes 2 years, fine.
My husband and I were only engaged for 1 month. That is all the time we needed to plan for our wedding so we could begin our marriage.
What makes an engagement official? Someone asks, "Will you marry me?" and the other person responds with, "Yes." Done! It's official. Let the planning begin.
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