Frustrated with him!!!?
My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months. 4 have been long distance because he got a real good job out of state and moved, and I stayed where I am for now.
The last week and a half he has been real distant, never makes contact with me. He is trying to buy a house and I guess it isn't going good. He didn't go into too many details, just that he is having problems with the bank. The few times I've gotten a hold of him, he gives real short answers and doesn't seem to want to talk. Before this all started things were fine, then once he started the stuff with the bank he did a total 180.
2 nights ago I text him, and he said he is still waiting to hear from the bank.I asked how he was besides that and he says hanging in. I asked if everything was ok between us, and he said I've just been really down. Not yes or no. I asked whats stressing him so much, and he said everything had just piling up on him at once.
I left the conversation at if you want to talk I am here from you, but its ok if you want to be left alone and he said thanks. Do men act like this when they are really stressed out and down? I have never seen him act like this in the entire time we have been together. I just want our relationship to be ok, but I can tell he needs his space now and don't want to push it. He's in his 30's. I was thinking if I don't hear from him in a week, just to text him and say I assume we are done. I'm so frustrated with worrying if we are together, but when he's this down (never seen him like this) I don't want to pile one more thing on him. My birthday is coming up next month, and I don't want to be worrying about this.
Thanks
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Answers & Comments
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There could be a number of reasons that your boyfriend is acting this way. What was the plan when he moved for his new job? Did you guys ever discuss you eventually moving to be with him? You say that you stayed where you are now; who made that decision? I think the last statement that you made to him "if you want to talk I am here from you, but its ok if you want to be left alone" is good. Leave him alone. If he wants to talk, then he'll call. Don't wait for him to tell you "yes, wer'e together OR I want to break up with you." Why do you need to wait for him? You decide for yourself. Is the relationship the way you want it? Are you happy with the way he is handling this "stressful time" in his life? Some men really do just clam up when they have problems. They don't want to sound like a whiner and feel like less of a man when things aren't in their control. Whatever it is that is creating the emotional distance between you isn't going to get better on it's own. You either need to talk about it or move on. He may be hoping you'll just get the message and blow him off or he may actually be having a difficult time. All you can do is ask. If you feel like he will get defensive about you questioning him then offer to go to visit him to deliver some TLC to help him feel better. You'll know based on his response if he is stressed in general or if he has already moved on. Oh, and you should just enjoy your birthday either way. You're not married yet. And if you are still important to him, he might make some time to come visit or call. If he doesn't, then your on your own with no restrictions.
Why are you trying to catch him at wrong doing? Time to let go. Its obvioulsy not going any where productive. Also, are you eating properly? If not, you could research the four basic food groups. Here is a link to one: http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/basics/foodg... That is from the United States Center for Disease Control (CDC). Although it specifies fat free for the milk, I always use whole milk. If you haven't eaten well for a while, you could start out with jello, pudding or even baby food. Also, strive to get 8 hours of sleep per night. Personally, I have trouble getting to sleep at night and take about 1/2 teaspoon of Nyquil at about 9 at night to help me get to sleep. Or, whenever I remember. Sometimes I just can't sleep; then I am reminded; oh, yeah, I didn't take my Nyquil, yet. Then, I do and before I know it (about half an hour later) I'm ready for sleep. Also, you could learn how to type, research Botony (the study of plants), Anatomy (the study of the Human Body), Alchemy (putting different chemicals together makes different colors), etc.. Also, who is giving you such a hard time? You could contact a Psychatrist and tell them that you want to live and you just can't seem to get it together and you think you might have too much interference in your life and can they help you. Or, you could tell them that the person that has control over your life refuses to feed you properly, or, that they cannot, and you need help. If you are in the United States, you could apply for food stamps through the SNAP Program if your Family needs assistance. Here is a link to that program; http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/ You could also check to see if there are food pantries in your area. Good luck!