16 is the age of rebellion stage. U cant control but u should act an a listener to them. DO not control them as they are not ur robbots. Discuss in a 'one to one' talk. Adults are NOT ALLOW to stand on our point and point their fingers and say 'U Listen here!......" [U ask them to listen to u, but u dun-----Communications break down eventually and immediately]
Listen to what they want to say and their thinkings, and explain in 'Adult to Adult level' and not to 'Adult to child level', this will force them to shan u off.
After listen their problems, and explain to them clamly what are the effects they do may cause hurt to some one.
U have to sit down and listen and listen and listen........ noted ur head to show them u are listening to them (By acknoledges noted ur head Give them a strong signal u CARE of them). Give them a suggestions to it and dun point with a red face when things is wrong, guard them.
ONLY U listen to them and guard them and they will feel that u CARE of them. STOP JUMP ON THEM and say u LISTEN HERE! and yet u fail to listen to them.
The key to encounter teenage is to LISTEN what they want to say and their thoughts and give suggests and the effects.
Dun nag! if they first dun listen, suggest to them agin and again bec teenages is just like a child losing their directions and u are to guard them along. Nag CANT SOLVE any thing!
Ok, I can honestly say that I went through a "rebellious" phase when I was probably 15-17. My parents couldn't really control me, I mean they could, but it didn't matter to me, because I could sneak out of the house, or ditch school, etc. I was getting into some scary stuff, drugs and alchohol and all that. I felt like I couldn't talk to them about anything, like they didn't understand. Finally when I was 17 I decided to be completely honest with my parents and I told them everything. From that moment on, my parents and I have been best friends. You need to trust your daughter and let her know that she can trust you. Don't let her feel like if she tells you something or tries to talk to you that she is going to be in trouble, that is the worst. Let her open up to you, and try to relate. That is the best way to communicate. I promise you that once the trust and the honesty is there you will have an amazing relationship!! Oh and one more thing, if you think it's the friends that she is hanging out with... don't push her by saying, you can't hang out with them, let her figure it out on her own, if she is smart she will realize it!!
I wish I could help you. I had a son in that predicament. No respect for anyone or himself. I did everything but go to school with the boy. He would skip out of work or school. Took his truck away. Didn't stop him. He got a minor DUI. He got caught with dope. But he remained an honor student. He finally got expelled from school 3 months away from graduating with honors for having marijuana at school. He was heading for jail, but the judge let him leave the state instead and live with an aunt and uncle. He is now thankfully clean, fixing to graduate from junior college, and a productive person. Sometimes, they just have to learn the hard way. It will kill you though. You will feel like your heart has been ripped out and torn into a million pieces. All you can do is pray, pray, pray. I hope the best for both of you.
I had that problem with my son when he was about that age. I got brochures from boarding schools and talked with the administration about him. This was with him present to he didn't think I was trying to get over on him. His choice was to straighten up or be sent somewhere that he would have to behave.
Well you can send her to boot camp. but to be honest she won't listen to you unless something dramatically negative happens in her life to change her current behaviors. Other than that, she will keep doing what she wants. Also, she won't listen to you no matter what, cause you are her parent. Maybe you can get her friends to talk to her or something she looks up to. Teens always think that parents are wrong.
TELL HER EVERYTHING.............and not just that she is doing wrong and she needs to do this and she needs to do that............let her know the dirty facts like if she does something what will e the consequences and not that she will regret it but thing like if she smokes do not tell her that she can get cancer because i am sure her uncle that smoked die at age 92...let her know about hairy tongue and creamy teeth and stink breath also let her know how you feel..........you need to show and explain to her what you feel..............and also let her talk to you about what she is doing and why and if she feels it is right,,,,,,if she feels what she is doing is right show her that it is not
She'll probly be pissed off and say whatever or something like that a million times, but she'll actully be listening to you, and pretending to ingore you.
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16 is the age of rebellion stage. U cant control but u should act an a listener to them. DO not control them as they are not ur robbots. Discuss in a 'one to one' talk. Adults are NOT ALLOW to stand on our point and point their fingers and say 'U Listen here!......" [U ask them to listen to u, but u dun-----Communications break down eventually and immediately]
Listen to what they want to say and their thinkings, and explain in 'Adult to Adult level' and not to 'Adult to child level', this will force them to shan u off.
After listen their problems, and explain to them clamly what are the effects they do may cause hurt to some one.
U have to sit down and listen and listen and listen........ noted ur head to show them u are listening to them (By acknoledges noted ur head Give them a strong signal u CARE of them). Give them a suggestions to it and dun point with a red face when things is wrong, guard them.
ONLY U listen to them and guard them and they will feel that u CARE of them. STOP JUMP ON THEM and say u LISTEN HERE! and yet u fail to listen to them.
The key to encounter teenage is to LISTEN what they want to say and their thoughts and give suggests and the effects.
Dun nag! if they first dun listen, suggest to them agin and again bec teenages is just like a child losing their directions and u are to guard them along. Nag CANT SOLVE any thing!
Ok, I can honestly say that I went through a "rebellious" phase when I was probably 15-17. My parents couldn't really control me, I mean they could, but it didn't matter to me, because I could sneak out of the house, or ditch school, etc. I was getting into some scary stuff, drugs and alchohol and all that. I felt like I couldn't talk to them about anything, like they didn't understand. Finally when I was 17 I decided to be completely honest with my parents and I told them everything. From that moment on, my parents and I have been best friends. You need to trust your daughter and let her know that she can trust you. Don't let her feel like if she tells you something or tries to talk to you that she is going to be in trouble, that is the worst. Let her open up to you, and try to relate. That is the best way to communicate. I promise you that once the trust and the honesty is there you will have an amazing relationship!! Oh and one more thing, if you think it's the friends that she is hanging out with... don't push her by saying, you can't hang out with them, let her figure it out on her own, if she is smart she will realize it!!
Hope that helped a little bit...
I wish I could help you. I had a son in that predicament. No respect for anyone or himself. I did everything but go to school with the boy. He would skip out of work or school. Took his truck away. Didn't stop him. He got a minor DUI. He got caught with dope. But he remained an honor student. He finally got expelled from school 3 months away from graduating with honors for having marijuana at school. He was heading for jail, but the judge let him leave the state instead and live with an aunt and uncle. He is now thankfully clean, fixing to graduate from junior college, and a productive person. Sometimes, they just have to learn the hard way. It will kill you though. You will feel like your heart has been ripped out and torn into a million pieces. All you can do is pray, pray, pray. I hope the best for both of you.
Tell her that if she doesn't straighten up you're going to ship her off to boot camp.
Also, kids are /never/ too old for spankings and such.
And, when she's grounded, that means no:
Phone
Friends
Computers
TV.
Grounded means no nothing that makes her happy, she's being punished.
You are not there to be her friend, you're there to be her parent.
Fine.
Give me a thumbs down.
There ain't nothing wrong with a spanking and tough love.
If it doesn't kill her (which it wont'), it'll make her stronger.
Boot Camp fo sho
I had that problem with my son when he was about that age. I got brochures from boarding schools and talked with the administration about him. This was with him present to he didn't think I was trying to get over on him. His choice was to straighten up or be sent somewhere that he would have to behave.
Well you can send her to boot camp. but to be honest she won't listen to you unless something dramatically negative happens in her life to change her current behaviors. Other than that, she will keep doing what she wants. Also, she won't listen to you no matter what, cause you are her parent. Maybe you can get her friends to talk to her or something she looks up to. Teens always think that parents are wrong.
Try psychotherapy. There are psychologists trained in working with out of control teenagers.
Good luck.
TELL HER EVERYTHING.............and not just that she is doing wrong and she needs to do this and she needs to do that............let her know the dirty facts like if she does something what will e the consequences and not that she will regret it but thing like if she smokes do not tell her that she can get cancer because i am sure her uncle that smoked die at age 92...let her know about hairy tongue and creamy teeth and stink breath also let her know how you feel..........you need to show and explain to her what you feel..............and also let her talk to you about what she is doing and why and if she feels it is right,,,,,,if she feels what she is doing is right show her that it is not
Have a NICE chat with her.
She'll probly be pissed off and say whatever or something like that a million times, but she'll actully be listening to you, and pretending to ingore you.
trust me i know, im almost fourteen :]