My mother ruins my life. Help?
Ever since I was a little kid my mother made me feel miserable. I grew up with my grandparents and father because she had to work too much. I understand that. However, when she visited me she was always complaining about what I do and never actually cared about what I think. I always felt attached to people and tried to make them feel good and happy. She hated that and tried to make me a mean and hubris person. When I moved with her she never actually tried to teach me anything (making the bed, cleaning, etc.) but she always complained about how I cannot do anything properly. I was not allowed to have the friends I wanted, because she only liked the rich and mean children. My mother never trusted me, and even though I am 15 years old now, she has to call my boyfriend's mother every single time we want to hang out. His family told me she is insane and I feel uncomfortable visiting him at his house because of this. She said she will never allow me to go out with him again. I asked him if he wanted to break up but he said he won't let this relationship end because of my mother. I have to be home exactly 30 minutes after school ends or she will ground me. (as I said, I'm 15) and I am forced to live with her even after I finish college. Whenever I want to share my thoughts or complain about how she treats me, I'm being called stupid, rude, cheesy and a freak. Talking to her is impossible.
And my question is: what can I do to endure all this? I know it is a lot, I know many of you won't even read this, but I would sincerely appreciate it. And I feel a big relief sharing this. Thank you
Update:My father lives and works far away from the city near a village. I live with her to be near my high school and a future college. I cannot move out because I need an education and she said she will won't give me any money when I grow up so I can start living on my own. This is exactly what happened to my sister, who moved out only after finishing college.
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im sorrys to say but ther really isnt much help you can get,feel so bad for you your mother is a horrible witch and yes she of course is crazy mothers should understand their kids and talk to them because you are deffinitly old enogh to understand,only thing i can say is dont let go of friends tht u can talk to (so u wnt go more crazy than u already feel w her) and i did read eveything if u need too definitly email e its always good to have a person who can listen and dont turn into the horrible person your mom wants..
Just read your words, sounds like your mother and mine may be related,lol. It may be she is treating you as she has been treated. The distrust you feel may be misinterpreted concern, the way its expressed may be off a little. Don't end relationship for any reason other than what is best for you and your bf. You have a few years before college, so don't concern yourself with what she may want when you have finished. Rules are important, even when we don't like or agree with them. I have learned that some people say things without hearing what and how they have said it. Don't be discouraged. When ever someone says or does something we don't like it is an opportunity to learn, it may be something we will decide we will not do to another.
You only know one side of the story -- yours. There is no father in your picture. You are 15 years old and have a boyfriend. That is far too young. Concentrate on school, studies, not your mother or this boy. The boy will leave you one day and you need to make a path for yourself in life. BE something. Perhaps your mother doesn't want you to end up like her working two jobs. She calls the boy's parents because she wants to make sure they are home. She doesn't want you to end up pregnant.
Perhaps calling you bad names is all she knows...that kind of thing usually happens because her parents talked to her like that. When I was young my relationship with mom was bad. I had to get a job when I was 17 because my dad died. My mom and I rarely saw each other. It wasn't til I moved out that we became close.
is there an option of moving out and living with your dad or grandparents?
why are you forced to live with her now and after college?
If you can't change the situation the only option you have is to change the way you view it and learn to cope with it. you will have to accept some of your mums rules, when living in her house she has the right to dictate certain things. if she won't allow you to date anyone, you have to accept that until you can move out. basically you can't have a boy friend.
make sure you have someone to talk to so you can off load. can you talk to your dad on the phone or email him for support? do you have friends you can talk to?
you are going to have to live with her rules. maybe if you do, she will learn to trust you more and may start to give you a bit more freedom.
that sounds a lot like my mum. don't bother arguing with her..whatever she says, don't take it personally. that's just how she is. your mum probably has a personality disorder (narcissistic) and will never change. it's quite sad. she's not evil or anything but you can never have a normal, healthy relationship.
i believe you assert which you quite desire to be heard and listened to, somebody who cares approximately you or thinks approximately you as a man or woman. you like empathy, to be hear to and not judged. you have had a detrimental adolescence and characteristic underlying subject concerns including your mom which you will possibly desire to debate with somebody who provides you with each and every of the above suggested concern for you to deal including your previous and pass on. suitable needs maureen.
Try to be friends with your mother and love her, and help her to love you too:
http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-to-Your-Mother-About-S...
yeah. it's everyone else's fault.