I just finished my freshman year of college?
I just finished my freshman year of college. I go to a wonderful school in a wonderful city, and I had the most wonderful year of my life. Now I am home and looking for a new job for the summer. I don’t have any friends in my hometown and I live with my mom. My mom doesn’t like me running around alone because where I live isn’t the safest place in the world. So I am stuck with my mom no matter what. She underestimates my abilities and is really controlling. On top of that, she just tells me how awful my face looks and how awful my weight is. I’m aware of that. I have eyes. And a mirror. I don’t hate her because she is my mom, and I am sick of people just automatically saying “Oh she is horrible” when I tell them about her, because she’s my mom. But I feel like I’m suffocating; I was used to a year where I could be independent and where I could assess myself individually. I don’t want to hate my mom, but sometimes I do. I’ve only been home for four days and I already want to go back to college.
Answers & Comments
Your mom is belittling you, tearing down your self-confidence, your sense of independence and growth. I don't care if she is your mom, her parenting skills suck. It's time for some behavior modification. You sit down with mom, take her to lunch is actually better. Be out in public and hopefully she will mind her manners. You talk about how those comments are like knives in your heart and you just KNOW that she doesn't mean to do that but it hurts and you want her to understand what kind of damage her words are inflicting on you. Ask her nicely to stop doing that and that you need to not hear them any more. Then switch topics and let it go. She's been put on notice whether she's aware of it or not.
The next time she starts in on you with belittling comments you say, "Mom, this is what I was talking about and what I asked you not to do." Then get up and leave in a civil manner. No eyes, dirty looks, no raised voice. You go to your room, the bathroom, the basement, leave the house and walk around the block or go for a drive. EVERY time she does it. No matter where you are. If she starts in at the restaurant, take a cab home if she's driving. Whatever, you quietly leave. This is behavior modification in essence for mom. Play nice, the togetherness continues. Play nasty and the together time is over right now. Follow through, it can work and you are not being disrespectful.
Good luck!
It's called having a family. Deal with it.
My mom gets on my nerves too, and she nags a lot, that's called her being a mother.
I just finished freshman year too, except I live at home and commute. So while you only deal with this for a season I do for an entire year, and 3 more unless I don't move out right away.
Get a job, hang out with friends, then you won't have to be home as often, that's all I got.
If you drive then look into a summer job. Perhaps helping with some kind of summer camp. Explain to mom that you are much older now and able to take care of yourself.
Tell her she needs to start letting go and allow you to make your own decisions. Otherwise, how will you ever learn to stand on your own two feet. Good luck.
ought to you be an entire time student for financial help or scientific coverage? if so you may desire to take 12 credit according to semester. Are you going to be working? Six credit according to semester is very low in case you're no longer working too. i might attempt to take 12. There are going to be greater training you may desire to take that are no longer likely to narrate to CS. you will might desire to locate a thank you to get sturdy grades in all training. attempt studing with different pupils from the comparable class. pass to the education center on the CC on a primary bases. come across a pair greater training which you will possibly sense you may desire to do sturdy in.
Exactly, get a job and show her how you can handle yourself, she is just being MOM.