Ok i really neeed your help guys im very depressed right now?

ok im brazilian and my bf is american and i have bipolar disorder and im having probs with alcohol (i get nutz cuz of the medications) this last days iv being very mean with him but its cuz sometimes i feel like i have 2 personalitys i NEVER meant to hurt him but i know ppl get tired of being treated like this i wanna write a email saying how im sorry but my english is so pooor and im so sad that seems like i cant think

plz guys help me i cant loose him hes the love of my life and sometimes i get jealous cuz we will be far for 2 months till i go to usa....... i wanna tell him how important he is and that i know is all my fault helpppppp im so sad i cant stop crying =(

gimme ideas to make he smile and see that i love him plz guys thanks and i hope u guys can understand my english

xox

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