I need to know about my affair from Islamic point of view.?
I’m a Muslim male &23.Throughout my life I was dreaming an affair &I’d have a girlfriend & then I’ll marry her.I met many girls&liked them but couldn’t tell anyone so nothing happened!I lost my father at17 &I’m the eldest son.Later I became an Air Force Pilot.After my commissioning in air force my mom was searching for girls for me.At the same time I was dreaming for an affair.So I started searching in Facebook.I found one engineering first year student from my locality.I talked with her and I liked her attitude,behavior &her devotion to Islam!After one month talking over phone I met her &she was not that pretty,which I had been looking for.I’m 6ft & she is 5ft 1.5inch.Not her beauty rather her Islamic mind,her qualities as a good human being made me mad of her.As I was not satisfied with her beauty&height so we called off our relation when it was of 1.5 month.After another 1month I couldn’t control myself anymore,I started talking with her again.I’m sure she loved me honestly I also loved her but always there were some dissatisfactions in me.I was in dilemma.I was asking Allah to remove my all confusions.I started saying Nafal prayers,Tahazud Prayer so that I can come to a strict decision.But I failed.When I used to think about her beauty&height I feel like to leave her again when I look to her devotion to Islam,vision to life,her fear to the Allah etc.I just cannot think of leaving her.At last I talked with my mom&she didn’t agree{because of her beauty(mom thinks I’m very handsome so I deserve better),height and moreover mom is against affair}.So we had no way other than coming to the end of our relation.Coz we both don’t believe in affair without marriage.Now we don’t talk except few occasions.I can’t forget her.24 hour I feel her presence inside me.Whycannot forget her or why we(me & my mom)are not fully satisfied on her?I really don’t know what I should do!
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Salaam!
You know, if you followed Islam properly you would not have fallen in this kind of dilemma!! Islam doesn't allow bf/gf relationships ~ looking itself is haraam, so is being alone, or having unnecessary interactions and obviously touching is out of question!
Quran 24:63 ....And let those who oppose the Messenger’s commandment beware, lest some fitnah (trial, affliction, etc.) befall them or a painful torment be inflicted on them.”
Quran 4.79"What comes to you of good is from Allah , but what comes to you of evil, [O man], is from yourself."
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If she was really a devout muslim she would definitely avoid such interactions with you!!
~~ What you should do? Is repent! Allah is Most Forgiving and Most Merciful!
AND!! Get married ASAP! otherwise you are gonna keep feeling depressed! And you should be respecting your moms decisions! Check out her suggestions ~ and see if anyone interests you. [but avoid the haraam interactions]
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~~ Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful and Most Loving!! And He Forgives ALL sins!!
Quran 39:53 Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives *ALL* sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
You already regret what you have done ~ your first step towards forgiveness is already done! Steps of repentance is *Regret, *Promise never to go back to sinning again(or sincerely trying), *REPENT, and *Turn to Allah with good deeds** ~
How to seek forgiveness from Allah -->>>> http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au...
****To have a glimpse of of the Mercy of Allah ~ Watch this:
-->>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Yq5-vsbW70
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Borther! If you want Allah to forgive you ~ you need to do more righteous deeds ~ increase your imaan by gaining more knowledge which at the same time would be good deeds! And start your prayers properly!!
***Must Watch The Awesome Lectures and SERIES(30 episode movie: SEERAH) shared in the link below , you'll learn a lot definitely enjoy these(great stuffs to build your emaan!), inshaAllah!
-->>> http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At...
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Quran 29:45 Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing....
Prayer is THE MOST important duty of a muslim, and we Must pray properly and Accurately(like prophet prayed), within the fixed times, and knowing what we are saying in your prayer
Muhammad(saw) said, “Pray as you have seen me praying.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari. This is addressed to both men and woman.
***How to pray(what to say and its meanings) :
-->>> http://www.islamnet.no/pdf/my_prayer_booklet.pdf
***A video tutorial of how to pray -->> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id7WRNGCxzQ&list=PL...
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Muhammad(saw) said : “The difference between us and them is salaah. Whoever neglects it is a kaafir.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad and similar Hadith by Imam Muslim);
AND!! We can NOT! make up missed prayer. We MUST pray on time!
--->>>> http://islamqa.info/en/111783
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Al-hamdulilah brother you have realized that having or engaging in illicit conversation/affairs is haram.
and allah puts barakah in halal only. It is good that you have realized this brother, and you should not let your emotions push you to haram.
rather here is what you can/should do.
--If you loved/liked this girl for her islamic devotion and religion, then that is the best and purest thing; and it is commendable.
--secondly beauty is not that important; rather it is like a nice bonus. :) but the essential part is the religion. look at this hadith by the prophet (SAWS)
تُنْكحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأرْبَعٍ: لمالها ولِحَسَبها ولِجَمَالها وَلدينها: فَاظْفَرْ بذاتِ الدِّينِ تَربَتْ يَدَاكَ " مُتّفَقٌ عَلَيْهِ (Bukhairi and Muslim)
"A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, (i.e. has wealth or wealthy family) her lineage, (family/lineage) her BEAUTY, and her religion, SO PICK THE RELIGIOUS ONE, AND YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL." (note; taribat yadak, last part of the hadith is an arabic expression for may your hand be covered in dust, i am giving you the meaning)
So do not worry about beauty my friend.
My wife knows a sister who is not very attractive, and her husband is often considered gorgeous by most other sisters.
although if she says that to me I would be rather mad.... LOL
Have an arrenged marrige, it will be hard at first but things will go wayyy better than love at facebook. And if you like any girl talk to your mom and ask her to send proposal, don't waste your time getting familiar. Cause you can do that AFTER marrige, if it doesn't work out, try harder. Nobody said happyness is easy.
From an Islamic point of view you should always remember (Dhikar) Allah swt and learn islam basics.
You should love Allah and his Messenger saas more than any other human being or even your parents.
Loving/dating/ befriending/romance chatting is not allowed before marriage.
Christ died for the ungodly.The just for the unjust to bring us to God.
Avoid religious dogma and turn to God who created you in the womb before the world began. You are special not just a slave but a friend of God as you accept Him in your heart and repent of all your sins.