I need help finding myself? :(?
Hey guys, im a 14 year old male going through...well what every teen goes through. mental weakness is the case right now though. i don't know what to do with myself. i'm 14 and haven't kissed a girl yet. I'm definetly the nicest guy you will ever meet, i guaruntee it. But girls just look at me as"that best friend you can lean on. the one that i dont even think about getting with" and basically, being nice is my disadvantage. I notice that all the *** holes at my school are the ones who can get the girl. i have counted SEVEN COMPLETE TIMES, where i've liked a girl but she ended up liking a guy who was a complete dick, and she didnt even know why she fell for him. Should i become one of these *** holes? i need both genders to answer this one. thanks :)
Update:I also recently got in a fight with one of the girls i was intrested in earlier....she was just so into her self and had no care for what i did for her. when we fought, i told her what she did wrong...she said"hahahahah k bye".....:'( what am i doing wrong??!
Answers & Comments
Go into your bathroom, look in the mirror and, tada! Their you are.
I think a lot of us have been where you are now. I know it’s easier said than done; but don’t worry too much. The ones that look at you as their best friend is the best way to be, I married my best friend and she and I have been married for a while and have three grown children.
I know it can be frustrating seeing all of the girls you like going for the “bad boy”. When I was in college I really like a girl, Juliet. She was like the girls you are describing. I was really nice to her and she just blew me off, so I decided I didn’t need that or her. After a week or so she noticed how I was stand-offish, this sparked her interest in me she came running back and wanted to be with me. As soon as I started being myself (nice) she went back to the way she was before… finally I decided I didn’t want anyone who didn’t like me for who I was. We did remain friends though.
The main thing is respect for the woman and above all yourself. Right now have fun and don’t rush into anything the one is out there for you just be patient, like I said it is easier said than done. I know you want “right now” but wait for the “right one” she will BE your best friend.
on finding yourself, this might help: http://www.squidoo.com/what_is_an_awakening
On mental weakness: mental weakness is not a bad thing. The brain is a very placid organ and the mind, well there's nothing more adaptable than your mind. Meditation is the fastest cure.
On becoming a ***hole: It's up to you if you think it's worth it. I honestly don't believe you would think that, so my suggestion, hell no.
Your love life dilemma is one of evolutionary origin. Females are naturally attracted to those guys because quite simply, they have better genes. They're buff, lots of testosterone and strong which makes them a good mule, something a mother might find useful for paying the bills and fending off physical threats, etc. But while our biological rate of evolution continues at its snail pace, the mind of society in general is fast changing and evolving. In some places like USA where I assume you live, geeks are the in thing. Women are finding that an intellectual inclination and softer touch makes much better spouse material.
All that aside, and not to sound condescending, but lets be honest, your a kid. Take it easy and don't stress to much, it will work itself out, you'll see.
At that last part: take it from me, fighting a girl for her heart, not the wisest choice of actions. And if it does work well I wonder what kind of material you will be winning. Save that energy for finding someone more suitable, more compatible. It can't be forced