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because they couldnt be bothered actually helping someone! They need to send them to some FAKE councellor!!

Well look at it this way. If you've tried to overcome the trauma yourself and it's still bothering you, whatever method you've used up until now isn't working.

The real reason that therapy hasn't worked for you is basically what people have told you, that you are not willing to let go of the past and move on with your life. There are a range of therapeutic measures available to assist you in doing that-therapy is just one of them-but they all have essentially the same goal of assisting you in achieving that release from the past, of you not allowing the past, no matter how horrible it may have been, to define your present and future.

If one of them hasn't worked for you, that ought not cause you to throw in the towel and conclude it's hopeless. You have to be willing to try each and every avenue out there, again if necessary. THIS IS YOUR LIFE, THERE ARE NO DRESS REHEARSALS, NO DRY RUNS. THIS IS IT.

And since this is it, is the current state of things really what you want to be stuck with?

In many cases people use the traumatic experience as a barrier to healing and moving on because they're simply afraid, and the rehashing of the trauma is like a "security blanket", an excuse for them to remain unhappy rather than risking being disappointed or hurt again. The "security blanket" trauma becomes a convenient mechanism for reinforcing your self-perception of unworthiness, that you don't deserve to be happy.

In the end it all comes down to YOU. YOU have to make the decision to be accountable for your own happiness in life, no matter how horrible your past experiences were, and be willing to confront your demons, make peace with them and move on. This is not to say that moving on is just a snap overnight process-it may take years of working at it, gradually overcoming it, perhaps even enduring temporary setbacks-but it has to happen for you to realize happiness again.

If you're not willing to do that-if you'd rather keep them around as a handy excuse for your unhappiness-then you're right, therapy is not going to work for you no matter how good the therapist is.

Saying that "therapy doesn't work because the therapist can't possibly understand what I've been through" is a copout. Sorry to say that, but the truth hurts. The point is not for you to make the therapist understand YOU, the point is for the therapist to help you in guiding you to understand YOURSELF. And besides, there ARE therapists and counselors out there who HAVE experienced similar traumas (that's why some of them went into the therapy profession), you just have to be willing to search for one.

Also, there are support groups for many traumatic experiences that have been started by people who experienced them, so you might want to search for one of those and see if simply talking about your experience with others who have also been through it is therapeutic.

It's up to YOU.

*NOTE: This is coming from a person who has said the same thing as you, "therapy doesn't work, my therapist can't possibly understand where I'm coming from". My therapist told me point blank that I had to be willing to work to change, that it was up to me, and that all the crying and bitching in the world about how unfair things were to me personally wasn't going to do any good if I wasn't willing to bite the bullet and accept that I needed to change certain negative ways of thinking and coping mechanisms. I did the same thing, I rejected it, but I now realize that she was absolutely right.

*SUGGESTION: Since you apparently feel that there aren't any therapists who are well-equipped to help you deal with your problem, have you considered taking YOUR perspective and becoming a counselor to help others (and yourself as well) overcome the pain from the trauma? Is this not a possible meaning you could give to the suffering you have endured, taking your perspective and using it so that others may not have to suffer quite so badly as you have? Would this not also be therapeutic for you, in that you might see some purpose emerge from what seemed utterly devoid of sense before?

A counsellor could be anyone. It could be afriend who knows you really well and truly understands you . True counsellors are people who truly wants to help you , loves you for what you are and speak from their hearts. Some people are made to be very good at this and it might be anyone. You'll see what I mean when you really managed to meet such people.

I used to see my school counselor for many months and believe me, I felt like she could actually share my pain. She was incredibly patient and always there for me. Her support gave me immense strength, to tide over the darkest phases of my life. I was new to the US and didn't have a single friend. She was the person with whom I could share everything. Sometimes all you need to do is talk.

Your counselor might not be able to experience your pain, because each person's pain is their own; but he/ she can definitely help you unburden yourself.

I have been abused and i'm still not really over it.My hubby thinks i need to go see one but i rather deal with it on my own.I have been doing it for over 20 some years.I have no idea why they keep asking we see one but i wish it would stop.

they think that they are better than anyone else. ihate them.