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I am sorry to hear about your suffering. Your reaction is completely normal. Of course you are afraid to get close to people. You had your best friend taken from you in a horrific way. Talk to your mother and father and let them know that you are having great difficulty handling your friend's death. Ask them if you can see a psychologist to learn how to better manage this painful experience. Talking to an impartial, nonjudgmental, third party can be so helpful. They are there to listen and guide. You can ventilate every sad, grief-stricken emotion and finally begin to let go.

At some point when you begin to heal, you may want to have a private ceremony where you express your emotions to your friend's spirit and plant a flower or release balloons in her honor.

Don't worry. You will find stability again. Our souls always heal strongest in our broken places. Don't hide anymore. Be honest about your emotions and ask for the help you need.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

by all means yes, and congratulations. God has a plan. maybe you survived to help others, you will know one day, unless you all ready have a relationship with Jesus. Then you all ready understand. Have you seen the show the "cleaner" awesome show about a man addicted to heroine. makes a deal with God, and is now to this day still helping people recover from addiction. i am going through anti-anxiety med. addiction right now. See christians arent perfect. But God will get me through this one too. I use to snort o.c. and whatever else i could get hold of and drunk like a horse when i didnt have drugs. the only reason i am alive today is because of the prayers of a Jesusfreak stepmom, thank you Lord Jesus. Now your friends family. If they have a relationship with the Lord, they should have forgiven you all ready, but sometimes we have to humble ourselves, and even tho u were clean at the time, you could still ask them to forgive you tell yourside of story, your testimony. and they will more than likely take you to your friends burial site. And remember to be absent from the body (dead on this earth) is to be present with the Lord, so your friend is in a better place. I know you and his family miss him, and i don't know why the Lord takes others and leaves others, but He does have a plan even though i don't understand it sometimes. but like i said i will say a little prayer that God will soften their hearts. and as for you, use your sobriety to help others. Your here for a reason, make it count. God bless you

Although you may not want to go to the doctors, if your thoughts of your friend are getting to you that much (effecting school and other relationships), I think you should talk to someone about seeing professionals. Do you think you could write a letter to your parents to tell them how you feel (even if you cut and paste this and ask them to read it) Do you think this would help? It is often hard for people to admit they need help, but you really need to look at all the stuff you wrote here and ask yourself.....would your friend have wanted you to feel guilty? Would she want you to go on with your life without making friends and having suicidal feelings? I bet you she would want to help you and she would want you to get help. Please, consider this seriously.

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i am soo sorry to hear about ur friend..i lost my sister in a hit in run i miss her everyday but it helps to talk about it..u should talk about it b cuz thats part of the healing process dnt get me wrong u will never go a day w o thinking about them but ur heart can have some peace if u get some help...depression is very serious i hope u talk to somebody..i will pray 4 u..if u ever need to tak email me...

very sorry to hear this dear but yours s a normal reaction but you have to get over it very soon.of course,your best friend is not with u but her memories r still there with u.only way to get over it is start making new friends .spend some of your time doing something you like (painting,playing or whatever).keep your mind engaged so that you get distracted from that topic

I am really sorry to hear about this... i dont exacly have an answer, but ill pray for you.

im sorry i feel for you....but you should try maybe your school counseler (icantspell) as a start...sorry im not of more help...im alittle depresed right now...

aww i'm sorry,shes in a better place,its better than here,where we get raped/wars

It must be better where shes at.

don't think about it she wouldn't want you like this.

<3

i'm here.