My last thing was very well liked http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsRIX...
Here's a new one.
Your Sound
God show me the way
Show me the light
I can’t seem to get through this day
I Work to midnight
For this lousy pay
You think you got it worse
You write for the rhyme
I write for the verse.
Getting busted on a petty crime.
I just wanna pull out my glock
Put it to my head and hear that **** go pop
No car no clothes
So I sit in this bar
to much respect to go outside and start begin
And I got a little girl, her name is megan
Yeah I’m a dad
Let’s just say her mama was part of the wrong crowd
Ain’t it sad
How the hell can she be proud
Tears drippin from my eye
I know I gotta keep movin on
But sometimes I just wanna die
Who would care if I were gone
You forget all the fables
You forget all the lies
**** the record labels
And **** the prize
You do this for you
And You do this for her
Just look at life from my point of view
Sometimes I feel like nothin really matters (nothin really matters)
This is when your whole life shatters (whole life shatters)
But you pick up the pieces
and wait for the pay increases
You wait till you’ve made it
You wait till your found
You never quit cause this is your sound.
****** up eye sight
Livin in the projects
Don’t know if it’s day or night
I got a girl I need to look out for
That‘s my only objective
You may think I’m over protective
But you didn’t grow up like I did
You didn’t see the **** that I saw
Practically growin up on the skid
everything has a flaw
Nobodys perfect
My energy and my passion is so raw
After all this is bed stuy do or die
Pull the trigger bye bye
Now Your up in the sky
So tell me why is life so cruel
Manipulated from a young age
Dropped out of school
I feel like I’m trapped in a cage
I’m out of fuel
My tank is out of gas
So lets smoke up this grass
Lets forget about hard times
And listen to some rhymes
Wait for that missed shot
And grab that rebound
This is your sound
Sometimes I feel like nothin really matters (nothin really matters)
This is when your whole life shatters (whole life shatters)
But you pick up the pieces
and wait for the pay increases
You wait till you’ve made it
You wait till your found
You never quit cause this is your sound.
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Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Deep lyrics but your rhyme scheme is basic.
That was awesome.I give it an 8 out of 10.That was very deep and Intelligent.
i like maximum of those lyrics, and could desire to probable make the song for them, as quickly as revised. i will critic them for you. (: _______________ i take a seat and daylight hours speaks to me i ask your self what'll i would be w(h)en this sense leaves me [once you write lyrics, you opt to spell each and everything out wisely so as which you and everyone around you knows them] i've got been sitting on the hours of darkness waiting for the rain to end waiting so which you would be able to come again abruptly [the factor of the song is your grandad passing away,dazzling? if he's long gone, he's not coming decrease back, perfect? take out the "waiting so which you would be able to come again abruptly" and locate something else that includes "sitting on the hours of darkness"] my sanity is the only element thats conserving me from the fringe of uncertainty [what uncertantity? that would not rather in wonderful condition. i think of you purely used it because of fact it semi-rhymes. restoration that, too] i'm battling the typhoon into the blue and wen i lose myself i think of of you your the only element conserving me from the fringe of dropping my sanity [i like this a splash greater effectual. you could replace you're able to be able to desire to assert "i'm battling a typhoon, turning blue, and as quickly as I lose myself i think of of you" in actuality, the "turning blue" could be unhappy.] sanity is a useful element sanity is wads conserving me from going loopy dats wad insanity skill to lose your techniques and in no way get it decrease back its a affliction u purely seize as quickly as as quickly as u seize it its the factor of no return [this entire element could be bumped off. it breaks up the circulate up the full lyric set.] at nite wen i sleep i dream of sunny days sorting out on the sea deep i purely take a seat there in a daze [i like the 1st 2 strains. try "and the sea deep" eliminate the final line.] sitting via the sea attempting to appreciate in case you like me for who i'm [eliminate this; throws off the circulate] i'm dropping my sanity over somebody that would not even look after me it incredibly is so unhappy [eliminate this; interrupts the circulate] so i will circulate directly to somebody else when I sing this song [eliminate this; circulate issues]
imo 7.5/10 i liked it
good job
Very nursery, that's all I can say.