I really like this girl, but we're from different religions, and idk what to do?
I'm a freshman in college and I really like this girl who I met this year. She's a freshman too and we have a class together, and we've talked some, so we're friends. I've started to really like her and wanna ask her out. The thing is, I'm white while she's from a Middle-Eastern country (don't wanna say which out of respect to her), and she's Muslim. I'm technically Christian, but I'm basically non-practicing (church on Easter and special occasions lol), so my religion's not a big deal to me. I'm just not sure if she feels the same way about hers. She doesn't wear a hijab or anything that seems to be too constraining, and from the little we've talked about her family, they seem pretty chill, so I'm really unsure. (Ok, PLEASE do not leave any negative comments about me being ignorant towards Islam, because I'm not extremely familiar with it.) I do know that Muslim girls are not supposed to "date" anyone, let alone outside their religion, and if they do, it's usually with the intention of marriage (not saying I wanna marry her or anything- I'm only 19). I also know that there are those families that are strict about it and others that are more tolerant. I know people who are both ways, so I know it's the specific family that decides what's appropriate. I'm just really not sure about all this. I really like this girl and would love to date her, she's smart, fun, easy to talk to, beautiful, everything :) I just have no idea what to do. So after all that..should I try to date this girl? And any other information is helpful too, like how to know if she can date, just like ask her by talking about family or something? Also, is there anything I need to be wary of culture-wise? And how could I approach the subject of her religion without seeming weird about it? But my main question is should I try and date her, even with the possible risks? (By the way, please NO rude comments about my or her religion.) Thanks for reading, I know it's long, and thanks for the help!
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Hey, sweety! Well, of course it depends on the person and on her devotion to her religion and everything. But it sounds pretty safe, given that her family isn't too fanatic about their religion. For them, the most important thing is what relatives will say about a relationship. Maybe they won't be too happy about it and maybe they wouldn't want you to marry her or something, but you should worry about that later. Definetely try it and good luck! :)
I'm not going to make a rude comment.. just an honest one.
she could get honor killed.. especially if her family is a recent immigrant family.
I would avoid it. The pc police arent going to be there to protect her or you when her family decides to off her for dating a white and for dating a christian.
That is a very very dangerous hookup. Of course not all muslims kill their daughters but i dont know how to tell an honor killing family from a non honor killing family.
Even saddam legalized honor killings. Thats how acceptable this practice is to south east asians.
All white christian american and euro males HAVE to know about that.
You are better off chasing oriental asians. White culture is more compatible with japanese culture.
We are not compatible with islamic culture. We do not share the same values.
Dude, i ve been there before, it was a real headache.
mid eastern girls try to act as if they are cool and their families are chills and tolerant of their girls going out in a date, but when it comes to the moment of truth, it is not the case for 99% of them.
There will be a lot of "don'ts" in the relationship, her family will expect something from this relationship that is if they accept it in the first place.
u will discover later that she is hiding the relationship form her parents and family, and it feels like u r having an affair :)
u will not get laid with the girl for sure because virginity is very important in mid eastern culture.
she might try to convert u to islam becasue she gets a free ticket to heaven if she does it. (it doesn't always happen, but it happened with me).
and even if the relationship becomes serious, and lasts for many years, and u decide to get married, u will have to become a muslim to marry her, u will have to get circumcision... etc.
there are plenty of girls out there man, forget this one.
Well, ask her a bit, but not too creepily, more like a casual question thrown in to fill an awkward pause or something. It should work, try your best!
Who cares...if you really like her then go for it. You shouldn't stress over something as dumb as a different opinion of beliefs. Live is too short. Go ask her out.