Heart-broken. I feel like I'm going to wait on him for 2 years?
I've had numerous guys go in and out of my life, and to be honest it has never really gotten to me much. A month ago, however, I started speaking to a wonderful guy. We instantly connected, and I just knew he was the one. We spoke practically all day, every day for a month, even though he was in med school. He said I helped him get through his day, and I honestly loved being there for him. Yesterday, however, he sent me a message saying he couldn't stay in contact with me anymore. He said he was extremely sorry for leading me on, but he was starting to get way too involved and falling for me-which was distracting him from med school. He said he could not consider a relationship until his rotations, and therefore felt it was best if we end things before they get too out of hand. He said, he might contact me, when he's ready for a relationship, but he does not expect me to wait around for 2 years.
It just sucks because I feel like I will end up waiting 2 years for him without no guarantee of whether he will really contact me or not. I did tell him, I'd love to be a part of his life, and look forward to resuming our relationship when he was ready. Having all this in mind, I don't know how to move on right now. The only thought that's helping me get through this is the hope that one day he will come back to me. What do I do?
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That's horrible. The best ones always come too early or at the worst of times. I think it is good that he is being honest with you, but I don't know what to think about using the phrase, leading you on. To me that would suggest he was not being honest with you from the get-go. If he get involved with you and started to see his grade fall because of it, he would simply be changing his priorities to get school back into focus. That is not leading someone on, that's realizing and correcting what he feels is getting in the way.
I think that now you are heartbroken and there is not a lot you can do except be his friend. The sad thing is that most people rarely come back, unless they get lonely or need a partner for awhile. At least while he is going through his final two years, because it's not like he will not have urges and thoughts. Not many humans are able to stop being loving creatures. Two years is a long time to go.
I would say treat it like a breakup, suffer it, morn it, and get back on your feet with some time. I know it's not easy, but I would not waste two years waiting for someone. That is just too much time to just see if they come back. All in all, when people let you out of there life, it's time to move on. Sorry.
Im so sorry, this is so tough. I actually understand both sides of this, I think its not a load of bs him saying it is very distracting and its true- love is addicting....I was once pre-med and it is extremely time consuming and you have to dedicate youself to the education/work and nothing else. But i also think if you fully fall for someone you cannot turn back. Like you said, he was starting to, and maybe he has so much self control and determination with school he was able to cut it off before it was too "involved". He sounds really mature, and if he is serious and into you that much he will contact you in the near future. Do not hesitate to date other people, do not hold back from meeting others, there are so many people out there. Especially if you are into marriage and family, a future- i wouldn't pass up other dates just because of one person. Hope is what will keep you going, only time will tell. If you are so in love with him, take time to yourself, dont jump into anything. But honestly, do not wait forever. Everything seems to happen for a reason most of the time.
Oh my goodness, this JUST happened to me. Got divorced at 23 after husband left for another woman (we dated 3.5 yrs, married 3 yrs), lonely and sad for a year (recovering), and then I meet a wonderful guy. We dated for 6 months, which were amazing, and then a week ago he said he wanted to go to school out of state and doesn't want to do long distance. He said I was the perfect girlfriend, that I do everything right, but doesn't think long distance works. It was horrible, we both cried and regretfully ended it. So I truly feel for you, I understand how much it hurts. But I don't think you should wait for him. The relationship is right when both people are willing to do anything to make it work. That's how I know this man wasn't the one I was meant to be with forever. If he was, he would have been willing to do anything to at least try and make it work. I don't want to try and hold onto a man that doesn't want to hold onto me. That's just my opinion.