Does my writing suck?
I'm writing this story and I want to know if it sucks.
Now I am a HUGE fan of criticism so please don't be afraid to speak your mind. No sugar coated comments. lol.
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It was late at night and Derek was exhausted, so exhausted that his eyelids were heavy and ready to close. He rubbed his eyes with his index finger and forced himself not to drift off into sleep. He had to stay up. He could not sleep. That was completely out of the question. There was a test tomorrow and he needed to study for it since he didn't study all week.
Cramming it all in at the last minute was Derek's personal strategy to success.
He turned a page over in his text book, seeing how the words were getting tinier and tinier as he continued to read. God this is pointless, Derek thought to himself as he rubbed his forehead. He hated studying and if he could he would never study in his life. However, he knew that if he didn't study he would surely fail that test which would ultimately lead to him faling his freshman year of college, and he couldn't afford that. Derek actually wanted to be successful in life.
He looked away from his text book and frowned. There was absolutely no one in the library at the moment - well there was a guy sitting on the floor while reading a magazine - but besides him, Derek was the only person there.
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Okay, I didn't post a lot, but that's because I don't want to bore anyone! I just would like to know how my sentence structure is.
Is my writing choppy and hard to read?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
much better than most of the inane drivel that i read on here, so please continue.
Assuming that this is
As a reader, I would like to see you develop Derek as a character more thoroughly. In most cases, the protagonist is developed so that he/she/it contains either likable traits or can at least be empathized with.
Also, I think it would help if your clarified Derek's surroundings somewhere closer to beginning. At first, I thought Derek was a high school student who was trying to pull an all-nighter in his bedroom.
Even so, just describing the surroundings can add a lot to your writing (depending on what ideas you're trying to convey as a writer). Instead of just straight-out saying that Derek knew he would need to study tonight, maybe write how there could be a cup of coffee freshly made sitting next to his textbook. This would suggest that Derek already knew he would be staying up for quite a while, so he bought himself a cup of coffee to help him stay awake whilst cramming.
Also, make sure you allow the story (assuming that this is fiction writing) to unfold, instead of explaining everything straight from the get-go. An example of this occurring would be the second half of your third paragraph.
I hope I didn't come across as a person wanting to tear you down, but rather a person coming with constructive criticism. Writing is an art after all, and it can be quite rewarding once you get the basics. This post may be seven years late (or more), but I hope you find it helpful nevertheless.
Your writing isn't bad! it'll get better with practice. The only way to seriously improve your writing ability is to do it frequently. Even if writer's block gets you down, you should power through it! Write about how you don't feel like writing! Eventually, your perserverance will be rewarded.
It's pretty good you pay huge attention to details the only part i don't like its the start i feel like your repeating your self but other than that keep it up!!
not bad, seriously ;D