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Yes, it is possible. I lived, under horrible circumstances, in my parents home the first 3 yrs of my marriage. It was one of those didn't have an option type thing.

My folks weren't dependent on us, and we weren't dependent on them ( long story) but it was hard to do.

My father and mother both, were nosey and controling. It really put our relationship to the test. Not in the way that you would think. I had no doubt in my mind how my husband felt about me to put up with all that he had to in order to be with me. It was great to feel so loved. It somewhat strenghthend our relationship because we did develop a "common enemy" which helped too.

We survived it and we still have a great relationship many years later.

It is possible even under bad circumstances if the two of you are right for each other. But its definently not optimal.

If you have a situation like yours and your parents are not controlling and nosey and they actually depend on you, I really don't see why you would have any problems.

Tell your siblings to go blow. I'm suprised that if your doing all that you do for your folks that they would even think about trying to make you feel bad for trying to a little happiness in your life.

It can work but it is very hard. You are a good daughter for doing what you are doing and not many would do that. For you siblings they are mad because they don't want to have to help take care of your parents and as long as they guilt you into doing it they are in the clear. Maybe you should look for a house with an inlaw unit where they can have their space and you can have your space. This way you can help with the bills and food but still be seperate but close. Good luck in your marriage

I went through the samething with my grandparents their children would not help them with anything not alone even call them unless they wanted something. There is a place in hell for people like that! They were on a fixed income and no way would they ever been able to afford to keep up with bills and so forth. I would talk this over with your man and see what he thinks about the idea of him moving in. I am a strong believer family first. I been in love and there is no way I would ever have left my grandparents knowing they might not be getting by:( I only have one grandparent left now and he lives with me and it works out well. You just need to try and figure something out see if they would want to sell the house. All of you look for a bigger one. Or look around for based on income apartments for the elder some of those places are very cool and they have their own apartment. It's sometimes a cheaper way of living and leaves them with some extra money every month vs what it cost these days to have a house. I would talk to your man and see what he says. I have dumped guys over not being supportive when it came to my grandparents. I always felt like I had a responsiblity and they are my loved ones if I don't help them who will. But good luck to you.

I can tell you care. And I give you props for that. But you do have your own life. I couldn't imagine being married with my parents living in the same house....it would be really awkward.

Are they old enough to be accepted into an "assisted living" home? It's not a nursing home, but it's a place where they have their own apartment, people are just there to help them prepare meals, give medicines, and anything else they need. It would be a great alternative and you would be able to live peacefully with your husband.

BTW, get your lazy a** siblings to help out once in a while. Good luck!

Not for long!

I really, really admire your dedication to your parents. Your siblings sound like selfish losers!

If you and your fiance can afford it, get a larger place with an isolated area for your parents, then move them in. Make sure that some degree of separation is established; it's important that you and your new husband have a good amount of quality alone time.

If that or some sort of assisted living/live-in care-giver situation is not an option, perhaps you and your spouse can get a place very near your parents. That way you can pop over as often as you like, fix their meals or invite them to your house or apartment often.

Good luck and God bless you! What a great daughter you are!!!

Well you have to situate your issues within yourself and inside that home. A marriage wont work living with family or parents. People will forever be in your business, you will RARELY have privacy. Eventually the marriage could crumble. You need your own life and home.

Good luck and God bless.

The secret to making this work is to make sure the lines don't cross.

You're first a married person and then you're their child.....never forget that.

You can't ever let them cross the lines....all 4 of you will have to sit down and really discuss this....making sure you address all possible issues.

There has to be respect on both sides

You are a very good child to think about the welfare of your parents.

If you move out then your brothers and sisters will feel obligated to do something to help. Right now your doing everything for your parents and your siblings want it to stay that way. I will tell you it can work with your parents living with you but i understand completely you wanting to start your own family in your own home that's understandable and if your brothers and sisters can't or won't go along with it then i would tell them you can't do it all yourself and they will have to help you from now on.

The reason why your siblings are mad at you for falling in love is because they know if you stop being the sole support for your elderly parents, then THEY may, for the first time, have to step up to the plate and help them out too. That is pure selfishness on their part.

Do not let them be part of this decision. And do not let them use guilt to force you into a decision, either way, because they feel no guilt in not supporting their parents.

As to whether it can work living with your parents, as a married couple it would depend on quite a few things. You and your future husband do have to discuss this, and work on an agreement that suits the both of you. Do not assume that because this is what you want that he would automatically want the same.

Does you future husband have similar close family ties, similar thought on elderly family support? Do you have similar cultural understandings? If not, he may not understand the need you feel to support your parents.

Does he get along with your parents? If not, or if its ok to visit them, but he couldn't live with them, it won't work.

Does he understand that you do support them now, and does he understand all of the costs that involves? Because he could come to resent that you two aren't going to do so well because of it.

And what happens if you need to be home full time because of their illness/ill health? Or because of babies? Is HE willing/able to support ALL of you?

Will your parents be able/willing to treat you two as adults, rather than as children that they can/should direct? Will he come to resent their interference in your lives together?

Are you willing to put him, and your marriage first? To make him your priority? Will your parents let you? If not, he may well come to feel that he holds only second place in your life, and grow angry and resentful because of that. And your parents may come to resent him, for the same reason.

Boundaries are very important. You will need to work out that there will be set times, and places where the other party is not permitted to intrude upon. And that includes certain subjects too. What happens between you and your husband is private to the two of you, and not open for general discussion. This allows you two to develop as a couple, and not just as carers for your parents.

Are the any alternatives?

Could your siblings be required/forced to help out? After all they are their parents too. Help out financially, or share the care if they live close enough. You do not have to accept their excuses, they have had a free ride long enough, and you are just as entitled to have a life of your own.

Could they get together and help support your parents to stay in their own home, with you visiting to offer them care? Or paying someone to care for them?

Do your parents really need the extra, or is it your company that they need more? Could you live close enough to visit often?

Would they be better off in a home where they would be cared for, and have fewer responsibilities, with the sale of the house meeting the expenses?

Why not apply them for low income houseing and or assisted living? In assisted living, they'd get decent food.

I suppose it would be up to your fiance if he'd put upwith the in-laws living under the same roof. Tell him and your folks if all are to live under one roof, their small income does have to help and there will be a schedule made for private time alone for you and hubby. Maybe find a bigger home with a family room and living room or one where it can be set up with 2 in one living arrangements.